Hot Boy
Boys will continue to baffle me, especially the ones I decide to crush on.
There is this boy that I call hot boy, because well he’s so HOT, too hot for me, but I’ve made out with him in a drunken state so I feel like my chances went up with that.
For the past month and a half I have invited him to everything I could think of, sounds bad, but he always texts me back and he always had a legit reason why he couldn’t make it.
I told myself, I said self this time will be different you feel better about yourself,and if this boy doesn’t like you it’s okay, don’t obsess if something happens awesome, if not oh well.
I have been doing so well, not thinking about this boy, but then yesterday he tells me via Google Chat that he will be Downtown by me and that I should come have a drink because he wants to be my friend.
I revert back to everything that I know not to do, like waiting by my phone and waiting for his text. I couldn’t take it anymore and so I sent him a text, he’s downtown but at a friends house instead of a bar.
I’m disappointed, why do I do this, get my hopes up, when I knew it probably wasn’t going to pan out. Probably because I feel like if we hung out, I could get this boy to like me.
I just want to give up (I wont’ really) on boys, it’s so frustrating and so difficult. My friends are getting married, engaged, or have been with their boyfriends for YEARS. I seriously can’t picture getting married although I want to, and I’m just like I really am going to be single for the rest of my life. I mean it happens to people, and I’m probably just meant to be one of those people…
Naturally I blame my single-ness on my weight, because the boys I choose would not necessarily go for me, and it’s okay I get that, but as long as I keep doing what I’m doing in the gym and running eventually I’ll find him right?!
Ugh, sorry for the extremely girly post.
